The past few weeks have been busy and demanding - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. On February 8th through 10th, I went to Corinth, Texas along with two dear friends to attend a workshop at a Messianic Church there. Then, in a quick turnaround, I went back to the Baylor Medical Center in the Dallas area on Tuesday, February 12 for a visit that would determine my readiness physically to undergo a stem cell transplant.
First, the workshop in Corinth was wonderful as was the fellowship with the people I went with. I was so glad I went there before my Baylor trip as I believe it built up my spiritual resources which would carry me through the decisions that I have had to make since I got home! At Baylor, I learned after extensive testing that I was fully eligible to go ahead with the transplant. At the same time, I began to have very mixed feelings about doing so. Stem cell transplant is difficult at all levels, and carries significant risks that I was not sure I wanted to take. To make a long story short, I have decided NOT to go that route at this time. This is a decision that I agonized over as I so wanted to hear God’s voice in making what felt like one of the most important decisions of my life. I went to trusted counselors and asked for prayer from many praying people to help me decide. What helped me “seal the deal” was my conversation yesterday with my local oncologist who assured me that he could and would put me on a preventive course of treatment that has an equal chance of preventing a reoccurrence of cancer with significantly less risk. I have decided to take that route, and will start some IV therapy next Tuesday and Wednesday with a combination of immunological and chemotherapeutic drugs.
One thing all medical tests agree on at this point is that I am in a complete remission. What I know for sure is that I’m feeling great! So much of the evidence points to my having experienced a true healing from prayer, and I believe this to be true. My present course is, I also believe, the best way to keep cancer at bay.
After making this decision I find myself reviewing in my mind all that God has done for me in the last six months. While not the easiest period of time I have ever been through, I can say with all honesty that it has drawn me closer to the Lord in a very sweet and satisfying way. It has also re-focused my energy, renewed my mind through scripture, caused me to make progress in trusting God rather than my own understanding, and revealed to me the warmth, love, and support of the people who surround me at this time in my life. Some of you supportive people are reading this right now, and I cannot tell you what an impact your loving me through this has had on me, body, mind, and spirit.
I would like to offer you today an entry from my personal journal. What I wrote was pivotal in that changed my perspective on having had cancer. It is as follows:
“Throughout a big part of recorded history, cancer has been identified as an invader and an enemy. There are writings from early Egyptians that reflect this perspective. I realized today that if I re-orient my own perspective using the Word of God (particularly Genesis 50 : 20, which is in the context of the story of Joseph), I see a simple fact. That is that God can turn ANY evil scheme (invader, enemy) to something that “saves many” and works for good, and not for evil.
God is inherently good, merciful, kind, and just and He loves me. He will allow me to undergo whatever is necessary to conform me to the image of His Son because that is what IS BEST FOR ME. I may not understand my circumstances at any given moment, but one day, sometime in my 28th year, I said ‘Lord, I commit my life to you . Take it and do with it as you will’. When I said that as an act of my will, He took me seriously and has been working for my benefit ever since. He continues to mold and make me for His purposes. Therefore, I am NOT fighting cancer in the conventional sense of mustering all my human resources within my human strength. The only real fight I have at this moment is to continually submit myself to God’s will and control and joyfully serve Him in the process of cancer. As I do this, He will not only use me to bring about His purposes, but will provide me with abundant blessings which enable me not to just endure, but to overcome, no matter what happens to me.”
The Genesis scripture along with some others has carried me through the weeks of evaluation and decision-making. There is nothing like the Word of God to sustain us and give us the ability to trust God no matter what! May you find His peace, joy, direction, and whatever else you need this day as you open the Bible and draw near to God through His unchanging Word!
Love and Blessings, Joy